Squeaky's Undisclosed Location

Home of the only Left-Handed, Jewish, Cherokee Girl in the Dirty South

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Ce n'est bon pas

France tightens controls on immigration

Authorities will increase enforcement of requirements that immigrants seeking 10-year residency permits or French citizenship master the French language and integrate into society, Dominique de Villepin said. (USAToday)

The French are idiots. Weren't the riots due to unemployment and poverty and frustration with anti-foreigner sentiments? Isn't it true that, in France, workers with French sounding last names will get more call backs during job interviews than those with African or Arab sounding last names?

Wasn't it the French that once cried, "Liberte, Egalite, Fraternite Ou La Mort,"?

Um yeah, I suppose they forgot about that. Then again, the French haven't always been the best strategists.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Like OMG! Mr. Darcy! SQUEE!

Earlier today I saw the new Pride & Prejudice movie with my Austenite friend, Mel. She must reread P&P a gazillion times a year. I've read it once, but the book was delightful, so I was more than willing to go. Besides Bend it Like Beckham has made me a sucker for anything that involves Keira Knightley (and Parminder Nagra for that matter).

I didn't quite know what mataphysical power a Jane Austen story can have on a girl if adapted for cinema in the proper way, until I saw this movie. Before the movie, Mel and I were having a socially conscience debate over economic policies and taxes in regards to big businesses.


We felt so smart and wordly discussing politics. We felt like Elizabeth Bennet

That didn't last long because as soon as the movie started and Mr. Darcy appeared on the screen, we were reduced to squealing, giggly fangirls.

Hmm...much less Elizabeth. MUCH much less Elizabeth. No more poise and sophistication for us, no sirreee.

We had become Lydia and Kitty.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Parting of Ways

Saturday Viv hosted the end of the season team party at her gorgeous house in the Historical District of (undisclosed location). Actually, her house is two blocks away from my synagogue, which means I might just skip Confirmation class to go hang out with her.

The party was all fun. Leigh gave me some awesome pictures she took of us. Cute Coach acted really reserved and shy, which was odd...whatever.

I got everyone's phone number and we all promised to "stay in touch" and be "best friends forever" (which will presumably last 2 weeks). I said bye to everyone, including Cute Coach. It was kind of sad because if he hadn't gotten hammered with two of my teammates, I'd be writing now about how awesome he was. Anyways, I said "Auf wiedersehen" to him, and he picked up the reference to the times I gave him a lift to Bham. Then I taught him a secret handshake, and he left.

Viv, Sheena, Livy. amd Leigh amd I hugged for a long time though and swore to go cow tipping, marshmallow roasting, and partying together before everyone goes to college. Damn, I'm gonna miss them.

On Tuesday, fall evaluations for school soccer started, which I s'ppose was perfectly timed so not to violate the school soccer vs. club soccer rule.


Tuesday, November 15, 2005


I think it is safe to say that I am the worst friend ever.

In between 1st and 2nd block I was in the hall way waiting for my friend Kelsey to come out of her class. I noticed my friend Bre talking to Brad, her boyfriend, a few lockers down.

I do not like her boyfriend. Brad is a loser. Brad short, squat, pastier than Elmer's glue, and plays the trumpet in marching band. He's got a psycho family and lacks people skills. He listens to Kenny G in his spare time. Bre is a tall, thin, Puerto Rican girl with crazy eyes that could do so so so much better than what she's got.

Kelsey finally comes out of her classroom, and I talk to her. I glance over at Bre and Brad says he has to go, so he hugs her. He keeps hugging her. He's not just giving her a "Hey, see you at lunch" hug, he's giving her a "Let's just hold each other because we are so madly in love hug."

I busted out laughing. It was the funniest, most awkward thing I'd seen in the longest time. Here you've got this tall girl bending down so her loser boyfriend can hug her. She didn't even seem to enjoy it.

Kelsey saw it too, and also started laughing. Then she hit me because Bre was looking at me laugh. Bre made the "What's funny?" face and then turned red. Oops, she figured out I was laughing at her.

I bit my tongue so I would stop, and then tried to play it off like Kelsey said something funny, "Oh gosh, Kelsey, you crack me up. Seriously, you are like the girl Dave Chappelle."

When I looked back, loser Brad was gone and Bre gave me a really sad look.

I should be nicer. I mean, at least she's got a boyfriend. I really should be nicer.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Disappointments in Coaches, Again

I had some posts in here last week that were a quite long synopsis of why I don't really respect Cute Coach that much anymore - at all.

I took them down because -
  1. I misused the word coche. It means coach as in carriage, not coach as in trainer.
  2. It is really hard to stay mad at him. Even though I know he's reckless and irresponsible, he acts so polite to everyone and he's so nice to me.
  3. I can't be mad at the two girls from my team that partied with him because if he asked me if I wanted to hang out with him two weeks ago, I would've gone along with him.

Short Synopsis of the Scandal in Question:

Sat. night of our State Cup, two girls on my team (Chaslini & Marilu) started hitting on Cute Coach and his friend Gringo all through dinner. After dinner Cute Coach and Gringo drove back to us girls' hotel to pick up a Papi Chulo T Shirt we made Cute Coach (we'd been making team T Shirts all day.) Cute Coach and Gringo left to go party, but Chaslini and Marilu snuck out after them and partied with them until 4 30 when Cute Coach finally remembered that he was supposed to drop our uniforms off at our hotel.

Because a few other girls on my team and I are not stupid, we spied on C & M and watched them hop into Gringo's car. Sheena (teammate) called Cute Coach a few times to ask him where are uniforms were (and to figure out for sure if C & M were with them) and both times Gringo answered the phone drunk of his ass and said Cute Coach was "unavailable".

At 4 30, Gringo dropped the uniforms off at Sheena's room, and she questioned him some more and discovered that C, M, Cute Coach, and Gringo, drank and even ended up in a hot tub at one point.

The next day we were almost positive they smoked pot, and we also realized that C & M didn't bring bathing suits (we found there bras mixed in with our uniforms - ew). We lost that game, but the 5 of us that knew what happened the night before never formerly confronted Cute Coach about what happened. A few parents know too, but a majority of EVERYONE involved in the team, does not know what happened. When the parents that hate Cute Coach find out - he will get fired, but they don't know yet.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Mazel Tov in HTML

Jazz and Omar both get a special plug because they gave me lovely comments the other day.

Good work, y'all.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

The (Nick)Name Game

In DC we've got I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, Michael "Brownie" Brown, Tom "The Hammer" DeLay and Karl "The Architect" Rove. What about the other politians? Don't they deserve nicknames too?

A List of Suggestions:

  • Trent "Unicycle" Lott
  • Clarence "MoPed" Thomas
  • Ruth "Matzabrei" Bader Ginsburg
  • Barack "The Veternarian" Obama
  • Hillary "Quiche" Rodham Clinton
  • Condaleeza "Zeppelin" Rice
  • Trent "Unicycle" Lott
  • Donald "The Cordless Screwdriver" Rumsfeld
  • John "Triple Chocalate Cake" Roberts
  • Bob "Station Wagon" Riley
  • Dick "Dr. Evil" Cheney

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Now - THAT is Scary

Monday (Halloween for those of you suffering from memory loss) I was bound, gagged and forced sit in an orthodontist's chair for two hours while two sets of hands shoved wires and metal things down my mouth. When they were finally done, I went to the bathroom, looked in the mirror, and OH NO -

They gave me Paul Wall teeth.

PS - I have no idea why I'm getting braces now, when
everyone else had them
in the 5th grade.

PPS - Who gives someone braces on Halloween? That's
just cruel because then the victim can't eat any candy. Jerks.