Squeaky's Undisclosed Location

Home of the only Left-Handed, Jewish, Cherokee Girl in the Dirty South

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Like Ben Stein! Only Duller!

I am in denial. I deny the fact that I'm not funny, and pretend I am. If you have read this blog, you have already figured that out.

I am roughly the same age as
Raridayrar, except I'm not funny.

I like the same celebrities as
Jasmine, except I'm not funny.

I want to be a writer like
Andy, except I'm not funny.

I'm sure there is some way I am similar to
Omar, except I'm not funny.

In unrelated news, my hair looked really good today for some reason. I don't know why, but it did. Unfortunately, I packed all day, so nobody of importance saw my suddenly L'oreal spokesmodel-worthy hair.

Terrorists: The Hate of

I hate terrorists.

I really do.

I don't like abuse of the Koran in Guantanamo Bay. I don't like how my friends twelve year old brother was searched at an airport because his last name is Islam. Despite that, I really don't like terrorists.

Things I don't like about terrorists:
1. 9/11
2. Madrid attacks
3. London attacks
4. Car bombs
5. Middle Eastern terrorists creating a bad stereotype for all Middle Easterners.

Why did I write this? Mainly because I'm ticked off about London. I have a friend who had plane tickets to London for Live8 and then was going to stay for a while afterwards. Her grandmother had a stroke, and didn't get to go.

As macabre as this may sound, I'm so thankful her grandmother had that stroke.

In conclusion, I hate terrorists
PS - Her grandmother is ok.

Monday, July 04, 2005

Antagonist # 1: Kristina the Serbian Lifeguard

Antagonist #1: Kristina the Serbian Lifeguard

The lifeguard at my apartment's pool is one raging ball of Serbian psychotic evil. Her name is Kristina, and she's got bleach blonde hair as well as a thick accent. She likes to enforce trivial rules; it makes her feel happy.

I've only got a week left of her, though. After I'm back in (undisclosed location), I'll no longer be plagued by her rule-enforcing ways.

Mi padre suggests making friends with her. He suggested bribing her by informing her about the Serbian resturants nearby, and having breezy chats. Ha, like I would extend an olive branch.

For now, I will be secretly mocking her to anyone that will listen as well as avoiding direct eye contact with her.